ALTERED Reviewed by Simon Kelevra
Posted by Simon Kelevra on Friday, April 2, 2010
Altered
Reviewed by- Simon Kelevra
Two words: Fucking savage!
If you are any fan of sci-fi or horror, buy this movie.
I bought this true gem of a movie, directed by Edwardo Sanchez of The Blair Witch Project fame, at the Walmart $10 video rack, knowing nothing about it or even hearing about it. In just my lazy bit of research I did for this review I learned it was a direct to DVD release, which is sad considering most of the crap the entertainment industry is dishing out to us that makes it into a theatre. The premise sounded solid and in line with my own personal tastes (or lack of).
...This shocking story of four men determined to exact revenge against the savage alien life form that held them prisoner and killed their friend...
Admitingly after the first five minutes I realize that at first glance this movie has a very B movie orientation. Some rednecks trap and abduct an alien for their own shindig of retribution. I couldn't help but think of the old Interplay game Redneck Rampage. Despite what I had thought would be a cheesy delight turned into a solid film with a tight script that flowed with a good pacing of drama and action. Acting that outshines many of the A list productions by actors I have never seen in anything (or recall seeing in anything). The special effects were not spectacular but weren't bad either, perhaps if anything could use work it was the alien. At times he looked a little fake and rubbery but it still to me was the real star of the movie or atleast how the film's creators fleshed out its character: manipulating, calculating, cold, and with a dark sense of humor. In essence it is a rape, murder, and revenge film with a sci/fi horror bend to it. While their rape wasn't sexual, the violations of the mind can leave just as many scars which can be heard and seen in the characters as the movie progresses. The movie opens with three rednecks tromping around in the woods with a shotgun and a harpoon hunting for the alien. After a bit of a chase and two bear traps later the three amigos manage to abduct one of the abductors. Back in the van they bind the thing so they can take it somewhere for some good ole revenge torture. Suddenly it is decided to take it forth to a dude's house, Wyatt, who seems to have more experience with these things. The douchebag of the group (isn't there always one) doesn't really like this but nobody cares what he thinks since he is a dumbass douche.
We are then introduced to Wyatt as he wakes up from another nightmare thinking the medium sized green men are out to get him again. His oftentimes bitchy girlfriend (which I feel she is entitled to given the circumstances. Drunk rednecks with guns and a homicidal psychic alien fucker, yeah she has a right to be.) points out that there is nobody out there as he points out a window.Puttering around the house to make sure there is in fact no one there, he suddenly gets a sixth sense warning that someone is coming for him. Rushing to look out a slot in the front door he hears and sees the headlights of the van. Grabbing a bunch of guns and ammo, he meets his friends. Meanwhile Otis, Mullet Dude, and Douchebag with Alien Fucker in tow want into Wyatt's house/garage. With guns drawn the four are reunited after what is presumed to be some years and it is learned there is a fifth, Douchebag's little brother, Timmy who durring the abduction was killed.
From left to right: Otis, Mullet Guy, Wyatt, and Douchebag.
The critter is put on a work table as Wyatt rants about what ignorant morons his buddies are and warns that if the alien is dead then it would be bad for everyone, as in putting down all the animals, not just the ones in the garage. The girlfriend surprises them while the health of the alien is assessed and obvisiously notices it isn't human. After qwelling the girlfriend, Wyatt demands they leave and of course Douchebag has to go into his bit of a loud mouth spiel on the abduction and it's aftermath, calls Wyatt a pussy and punches him. Durring the verbal waltz that follows, Alien Fucker is awoken from his beat down and empathizes his being pissed off with low growls. Wyatt gets a piercing headache and realizes what the little fucker is doing, is signalling for his hombres.Douchebag gets a bite and beats the thing back into sleepiness with a pipe wrench. It is discovered that the girlfriend, Hope, has called somebody. Douchebag thinks it is the police and threats of violence ensue.Here we are treated to a little bit of what this alien can do. Taking control of Hope like a meat puppet he has her start to cut his bonds while Douchebag threatens to blow her in half. Guns are thrown down after Wyatt has a chat with the green fucker and Hope is tackled and restrained. Screaming at the alien, Wyatt demands Hope be un-mind controlled. Fortifying the garage, they perpare to hunker down until the morning, since it is safer to travel durring the day. Hope is tied to the bed, but not in a fun BDSM way, more of a "This is so you don't go fucking crazy" way. After some insights Douchebag, learns what it is like to be bitten by an angry green alien fucker, and you can guess it,goes on a redneck rampage wanting to turn this critter into roasted carne alien. Otis keeps things from going too far out of control. While Douchebag is dragged into the bathtub,Wyatt reveals that the aliens have little that actually hurt him.
Meanwhile, no one has been paying any attention to Alien Fucker. Wyatt discovers his green guest has vacated so him and Mullet Guy begin the hunt, with Otis in the house proper, guarding over Hope. Speaking of Hope, her phone call earlier to the cops has brought Sheriff Redneck to the door. With no other option, he has to let the more than likely intoxicated lawman into the garage. Not trusting Wyatt's story about the 911 call,Sheriff Redneck scopes around for a bit with beer in hand. A scream from Otis tips off the 5-0 that there is much more going on there than he can see. Mullet Guy has to save the day by ramming the sheriff through the door into the house.Wyatt runs into his bedroom where he is confronted by a terrified Hope, Otis sitting on the floor, and this little fucker snickering about his prize.
A scuffle breakes out with Otis' guts as the reward. A gun shot and severed hand later, Wyatt and Mulled Dude have pacified the alien, and now can tend to their pretty fucked up friend, who has become a good canadate for the Grim Reaper. Durring this, Hope has wandered away from her bondage and the sheriff has stagard off to die. Wyatt finds Hope in the van and tells her of his plan to take Otis to the hospital. Meanwhile, Douchebag has been rotting in his juice in the bathtub, and has a somewhat touching talk with Wyatt about Timmy and how if he had it his way, "I would take that fucking monster back to my Dad's peach house, walk past that white mother fuckin' picket fence and drop that piec of shit alien right on that cocksuckers doorstep." With Otis in the van with Hope, Wyatt and Mullet Guy load up a covered cage with the sleepy alien. At this point, if my little second rate review hasn't convinced you to buy this movie and watch it, Screw You! You have no taste and should burn in hell!
Seriously it was an excellent movie that did a lot with from what I read, wasn't much. While it will never be recognized as a great movie by those who think they are important in the film industry it is an emerging classic in the genre of survival horror and those that are into this genre (and you should be if you are at this site) will find a refreshing change from the norm in Altered.
Vagina Foreheaded Aliens That are actually Dicks.
Reviewed by- Simon Kelevra
Two words: Fucking savage!
If you are any fan of sci-fi or horror, buy this movie.
I bought this true gem of a movie, directed by Edwardo Sanchez of The Blair Witch Project fame, at the Walmart $10 video rack, knowing nothing about it or even hearing about it. In just my lazy bit of research I did for this review I learned it was a direct to DVD release, which is sad considering most of the crap the entertainment industry is dishing out to us that makes it into a theatre. The premise sounded solid and in line with my own personal tastes (or lack of).
...This shocking story of four men determined to exact revenge against the savage alien life form that held them prisoner and killed their friend...
Admitingly after the first five minutes I realize that at first glance this movie has a very B movie orientation. Some rednecks trap and abduct an alien for their own shindig of retribution. I couldn't help but think of the old Interplay game Redneck Rampage. Despite what I had thought would be a cheesy delight turned into a solid film with a tight script that flowed with a good pacing of drama and action. Acting that outshines many of the A list productions by actors I have never seen in anything (or recall seeing in anything). The special effects were not spectacular but weren't bad either, perhaps if anything could use work it was the alien. At times he looked a little fake and rubbery but it still to me was the real star of the movie or atleast how the film's creators fleshed out its character: manipulating, calculating, cold, and with a dark sense of humor. In essence it is a rape, murder, and revenge film with a sci/fi horror bend to it. While their rape wasn't sexual, the violations of the mind can leave just as many scars which can be heard and seen in the characters as the movie progresses. The movie opens with three rednecks tromping around in the woods with a shotgun and a harpoon hunting for the alien. After a bit of a chase and two bear traps later the three amigos manage to abduct one of the abductors. Back in the van they bind the thing so they can take it somewhere for some good ole revenge torture. Suddenly it is decided to take it forth to a dude's house, Wyatt, who seems to have more experience with these things. The douchebag of the group (isn't there always one) doesn't really like this but nobody cares what he thinks since he is a dumbass douche.
We are then introduced to Wyatt as he wakes up from another nightmare thinking the medium sized green men are out to get him again. His oftentimes bitchy girlfriend (which I feel she is entitled to given the circumstances. Drunk rednecks with guns and a homicidal psychic alien fucker, yeah she has a right to be.) points out that there is nobody out there as he points out a window.Puttering around the house to make sure there is in fact no one there, he suddenly gets a sixth sense warning that someone is coming for him. Rushing to look out a slot in the front door he hears and sees the headlights of the van. Grabbing a bunch of guns and ammo, he meets his friends. Meanwhile Otis, Mullet Dude, and Douchebag with Alien Fucker in tow want into Wyatt's house/garage. With guns drawn the four are reunited after what is presumed to be some years and it is learned there is a fifth, Douchebag's little brother, Timmy who durring the abduction was killed.
From left to right: Otis, Mullet Guy, Wyatt, and Douchebag.
The critter is put on a work table as Wyatt rants about what ignorant morons his buddies are and warns that if the alien is dead then it would be bad for everyone, as in putting down all the animals, not just the ones in the garage. The girlfriend surprises them while the health of the alien is assessed and obvisiously notices it isn't human. After qwelling the girlfriend, Wyatt demands they leave and of course Douchebag has to go into his bit of a loud mouth spiel on the abduction and it's aftermath, calls Wyatt a pussy and punches him. Durring the verbal waltz that follows, Alien Fucker is awoken from his beat down and empathizes his being pissed off with low growls. Wyatt gets a piercing headache and realizes what the little fucker is doing, is signalling for his hombres.Douchebag gets a bite and beats the thing back into sleepiness with a pipe wrench. It is discovered that the girlfriend, Hope, has called somebody. Douchebag thinks it is the police and threats of violence ensue.Here we are treated to a little bit of what this alien can do. Taking control of Hope like a meat puppet he has her start to cut his bonds while Douchebag threatens to blow her in half. Guns are thrown down after Wyatt has a chat with the green fucker and Hope is tackled and restrained. Screaming at the alien, Wyatt demands Hope be un-mind controlled. Fortifying the garage, they perpare to hunker down until the morning, since it is safer to travel durring the day. Hope is tied to the bed, but not in a fun BDSM way, more of a "This is so you don't go fucking crazy" way. After some insights Douchebag, learns what it is like to be bitten by an angry green alien fucker, and you can guess it,goes on a redneck rampage wanting to turn this critter into roasted carne alien. Otis keeps things from going too far out of control. While Douchebag is dragged into the bathtub,Wyatt reveals that the aliens have little that actually hurt him.
Meanwhile, no one has been paying any attention to Alien Fucker. Wyatt discovers his green guest has vacated so him and Mullet Guy begin the hunt, with Otis in the house proper, guarding over Hope. Speaking of Hope, her phone call earlier to the cops has brought Sheriff Redneck to the door. With no other option, he has to let the more than likely intoxicated lawman into the garage. Not trusting Wyatt's story about the 911 call,Sheriff Redneck scopes around for a bit with beer in hand. A scream from Otis tips off the 5-0 that there is much more going on there than he can see. Mullet Guy has to save the day by ramming the sheriff through the door into the house.Wyatt runs into his bedroom where he is confronted by a terrified Hope, Otis sitting on the floor, and this little fucker snickering about his prize.
A scuffle breakes out with Otis' guts as the reward. A gun shot and severed hand later, Wyatt and Mulled Dude have pacified the alien, and now can tend to their pretty fucked up friend, who has become a good canadate for the Grim Reaper. Durring this, Hope has wandered away from her bondage and the sheriff has stagard off to die. Wyatt finds Hope in the van and tells her of his plan to take Otis to the hospital. Meanwhile, Douchebag has been rotting in his juice in the bathtub, and has a somewhat touching talk with Wyatt about Timmy and how if he had it his way, "I would take that fucking monster back to my Dad's peach house, walk past that white mother fuckin' picket fence and drop that piec of shit alien right on that cocksuckers doorstep." With Otis in the van with Hope, Wyatt and Mullet Guy load up a covered cage with the sleepy alien. At this point, if my little second rate review hasn't convinced you to buy this movie and watch it, Screw You! You have no taste and should burn in hell! Seriously it was an excellent movie that did a lot with from what I read, wasn't much. While it will never be recognized as a great movie by those who think they are important in the film industry it is an emerging classic in the genre of survival horror and those that are into this genre (and you should be if you are at this site) will find a refreshing change from the norm in Altered.
Vagina Foreheaded Aliens That are actually Dicks.